Some weeks are just like this…I woke up one day, and everything seemed to go alright. I was productive and served to the best of my ability. A day well lived. I go to bed and wake up the next day in an emotional, spiritual, and mental fog. God feels distant. I feel unmotivated. Life has lost some of the vibrant colors that were there just yesterday. Depression and anxiety seek to creep in, having easier access than usual. Controlling my thoughts seems like a game of pong on the impossible difficulty…my enemy never misses hitting the ball of wrong thoughts back my way, and yet I am struggling and gasping for air just to hit the ball back one more time. Why does life seem so hard all of a sudden? Don’t I know there are starving children in Africa who have it way worse than me? What happened? My weakness and fickleness shock me every time I find myself back in this spot. Every victory over wrong thoughts and attitudes in the morning leaves me with a sense of emptiness and purposelessness. What is my hope if I cannot motivate myself, cannot see clearly, and my enemy incessantly continues sieging my heart, soul, and mind?
It is comforting to find the man after God’s own heart speaking the same line of thoughts. Follow me on a gentle stroll through Psalm 42.
1 As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?
Psalm 42:1-2
When I am depressed, downcast, dreary, anxious, worried, fearful, or feeling empty and purposeless, this is the problem! The world, the flesh, and the devil have done a great job of convincing you and me that we need something other than God and His word in these moments. We need some semblance of extra comfort, freedom, new experience, indulgence, etc. These are not my true need! My greatest need in these dark and desperate moments is for God. This is why when you feel like you are “in the pit” and listen to the world's wisdom, you come out the other side, still thirsty and needy. In these moments, you need God. Your soul is thirsting for Him, whether you realize it or not!
3 My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” 4 These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
Psalm 42:3-4
Again, it is hard to distinguish, but it is nonetheless true: when we are in these more challenging days, we are listening to the lies of the enemy saying, “Where is your God (in this dark situation, this depressing day, your continued suffering, etc.)?” Our natural response to brutal spiritual warfare is to cry. So, throw out the stoic mentality of strong people don’t cry, and accept the biblical precedent. People of faith cry in their struggle against sin. David cries out to his God and pours out his soul to the One who cares intimately, personally, and specifically about him.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation 6 and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore, I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Psalm 42:5-6
David depicts what I like to call “self-shepherding.” If you ever wish to be able to shepherd those around you in biblical truths, you must first grow in shepherding your own heart in the things of God. He asks himself an obvious question and gives the biblical answer. This does not mean he is suddenly getting the warm fuzzies just because he said the correct answer to himself. However, he has begun and is walking through the process God has prescribed for soul healing and will see the benefits over time. When we wake up on the depressed side of the bed, what do we do? We encourage our souls to hope in God, remind ourselves of His character and works, and praise Him! I have a habit of walking around the church weekly and, for an extended period, engaging in prayer and singing hymns (out loud!) to my God. I have noticed these moments of worship do more to restore my soul than much else I do on any given week. I would encourage you to do something similar in your life!
7 Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. 8 By day, the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night, his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42:7-8
Much like David, we can feel overwhelmed and disheartened by our suffering. Feeling as though we go from one valley to the next, and the suffering God brings into our lives is simply overtaking us. In those moments, we must remind ourselves of God’s unfailing, unending, unstoppable love for us. We do not deserve this sweet mercy and grace, yet even in the night, God is with us. He is our life, and nothing proves that more than the storms of life.
9 I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” 10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
Psalm 42:9-11
David determines to pray. To cry out to God. To allow the wrong thoughts to come fully out so they can be dealt with accordingly. He is taking his thoughts captive. He is also expressing (in a healthy way) the pain and anguish of his suffering. Yet, he enacts the most important principle we can remember in a season of despair and depression. He stops “listening” to himself and begins "talking” to himself. He allows the complaints and the convoluted viewpoints to come out so that he can properly heal the wounds they are coming from. His prescription? To show the always enough power of a right knowledge of God. Our greatest issue in depression is we have lost sight of who God is. Turn your eyes to Jesus. Invigorate your soul to worship Him. Sing by yourself of His love, your salvation, and our perfect hope in Him. Perfect love drives out fear. God is love. Run to Him! Fall at His feet and cling with all your might to the God who saves! Why are you cast down? Because you are being reminded to look up.
May God bless your week as you seek His kingdom first!
Grace and Peace,
Pastor Dan
Oh, Pastor Dan, I needed this today. I must confess this election has me overwhelmed! And yet, I KNOW our Sovereign God reigns! You mentioned we must turn our eyes to Jesus, and the hymn, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus flooded my soul! Thank you for this devotion!